The LCMC Show: R.A.O.L.W Episode 2 (Script Story)

Episode Description
Dying to see more of Tails, Lachie and the SEGA cast? Well, don't. We've got more of that. Wanna join? It's going to be a riot!!!

Character List: Starring

 * Lachie MC Magee
 * Bjee5455 (mentioned)
 * Lachie.exe

Character List: Featuring and Appearances

 * shadowsoldier247
 * Miles "Tails" Prower
 * Sonic the Hedgehog
 * Knuckles the Echidna
 * Shadow the Hedgehog
 * Dr. Eggman (a line)
 * Contestant Announcer (a line)
 * supacake0404 the Demon Hacker
 * Cream the Rabbit
 * Amy Rose
 * Gobsmack (mentioned)
 * Giggles (possibly a line)
 * Cosmo (4Kids) (mentioned)

Transcript
shadowsoldier247: As promised, I now present to you all, the sequel to 'Epic Tale of Random Hilarity'... The uhh... Epic-er Tale of Random Hilarity.

Lachie (me): >:/ Um we're not doing the Epic Tale of Random Hilarity. It's  Random Acts Of LCMC World, remember?

Tails: -_-; ...Lach, you're not even trying anymore, are you?

Lachie: Hey, don't worry. I'm writing the story, so who cares about the title?

Tails: (shrugs shoulders, mumbles under breath) ...yeah, like anyone's gonna read it, anyway.

Lachie: I'll deal with you in the story. Anyway, let's deal with the story.

(Title starts. Title also ends with static)

*********************************

(Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Cream, Shadow, Lachie, LCMCdotFEARrules2 (Lachie.exe) and shadowsoldier247 are sitting in Tails' living room, everyone stares at shadowsoldier247 and whispers to each other)

Sonic (to Tails): Hey, Tails? Who's that guy?

Tails (to Sonic): I don't know, but he won't leave.

Shadow (to Knuckles): I don't like this guy. He stole my name.

Knuckles (to Shadow): And Professor Robotnik stole your name from the darkness, quit whining.

Shadow: (crosses arms) I wasn't whining. What makes you say that?

Cream (to Amy): Amy, he scares me! He ate Cheese! (starts crying)

Amy (to Cream): It's okay, Cream... nobody liked Cheese anyway.

Cream: (stops crying) True.

shadowsoldier247: (spits out Chao bones) If you guys are so bored that you're whispering to each other, then I've got an idea for a game.

Everyone else: What's that?

shadowsoldier247: (grins excitedly) We're gonna sacrifice someone to supacake0404.

Lachie: Thank The Lord I have power over Random Acts Of LCMC World. (Everyone looks at Lachie) ...o.o what? Bjee5455 did it once! And he did better than me?

Cream: AWESOME! (everyone looks at Cream this time) ...what? I admire his work.

Lachie: Bjee never did any work!

Cream: I mean SC0404.

Sonic: Eh, might as well. There's nothing else to do while Eggman's in that eating contest.

Tails: I wonder how that's goin', anyway.

*******************************

(Cut scene to Eggman at eating contest, people running away and screaming)

Contest announcer: Doctor, please! You're supposed to eat the pies, not the contestants... AND WHY ARE YOU NAKED!?!?

Eggman: (thrusting hips in suggestive manner) Everything tastes better when you're naked! (waddles over to announcer) NOW GET IN MAH BELLEH!!

*******************************

(Cut back to Sonic crew)

shadowsoldier247: Let's have a moment of silence for those poor souls who fell victim to Eggman's appetite. (everyone bows heads in silence)

Tails: .....how long has it been?

shadowsoldier247: ...twelve seconds.

Lachie: crap.

Tails: Do we have to start over?

shadowsoldier247: Hell, no.

(after a VERY short show of respect, everyone raises their heads)

shadowsoldier247: Well, now that that's done, we're gonna draw straws to see who becomes an offering to the Hacking One. Whoever draws the short straw loses.

Lachie: Hey! Supacake0404 may be the hacking one, but he's a VILLAIN for crying out lo--

Everyone else: Okay! (everyone draws straws and looks at them, Knuckles has the short straw)

shadowsoldier247: Well, Knuckles. Looks like you lose.

Knuckles: The hell I do! (punches Tails in the arm and switches straws with him) See!?

Tails: OUCH!!! (starts crying) Hey, Knuckles! That's not fair!

Knuckles: (holding rope) What was that?

Tails: O_o;...nothing.

Knuckles: I thought so. (grabs Tails and ties him to a stake)

Tails: HEY!!

Lachie: LET THE CEREMONY BEGIN! (room goes dark, then the lights come back on, revealing everyone in black robes, surrounded by candles)

shadowsoldier247: I will now read the ancient incantation ritual. (clears throat) "I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite enter my veins. Never did I wanna be here again. And I don't remember why I came."

Lachie: What the (bleep) kind of incantation is that?!!?

Tails (trying to get loose): That's not an ancient incantation! You stole that from Godsmack!

Lachie: He's got a point, soldier.

shadowsoldier247: That's enough outta you! (shoves an apple in Tails' mouth)

Tails: MMMPPH!!

shadowsoldier247: NOW, HACKING LORD! WE OFFER YOU A SACRIFICE! PLEASE REVEAL YOURSELF TO US!

(room starts shaking, candles blow out and a large figure steps through the doorway)

supacake0404 (also called SC0404 or SC): Who has summoned me?

Tails: (spits out apple) You mean HE'S the villain!? (takes a closer look) OH, GOD! HE'S NAKED!!

(This is true. But he's in Happy Tree Friend form so who gives a crud?)

shadowsoldier247: O, vile ...pantless one! We offer to you and your many chins... a snack-rifice! (point to Tails tied to stake)

SC: This pleases me. (grabs Tails and prepares to eat him) Over the lips and past the gums, look out one of my three stomachs, here it co...

Lachie: WAIT!!!

SC: (Tails' tails sticking out of his mouth) What?

Lachie: Sorry, but we can't do this. The Tails fans would kill me.

shadowsoldier247: Yeah. Plus you were trying to kill him too!

SC: ...fine. (pulls drool-soaked Tails out of his mouth)

Tails: x_x I've seen... horrible... things.

SC: ...can I at least have Amy?

Everyone but Amy: YES!!

Amy: WHAT!?

SC: ALL RIGHT! Eggy's gettin' some tonight! (grabs Amy, runs off singing 'Anaconda' by Eminem)

Cream: Shouldn't we help her?

Tails: No. But at lest I'm safe.

Tails fans: YAY!!!

Amy fans: BULLCRAP!!!

(Tails fans and Amy fans get into a fight... no one pays attention)

shadowsoldier247: (dusting off hands) Well, I guess that wraps up this story.

Tails: Not quite. (walks over to Knuckles) Hey, Knuckles?

Knuckles: What is it, Tails?

Tails: (brings his leg back, then kicks Knuckles full force in his Special Area) THAT'S for taking my straw, you jerk! (walks over to Cream, tips her back and gives her a kiss on the lips) C'mon, baby. Let's go.

Cream:*_* ...okay... (glomps Tails)

Knuckles: (high-pitched girly voice) @_@ He... killed... lil' Knuckie.

Giggles: What happened here?

Sonic: Guess there won't be any little guardians running around anytime soon. Wait a minute! How come we didn't get bigger parts?

Shadow: I dunno. Talk to the jerk over there. (points at shadowsoldier247)

shadowsoldier247: Guys, I'll just say this; unless you two are up for a full story of nothing but Sonadow, I suggest you keep your mouths shut.

Lachie: (laughing) THATS JUST WEIRD BRO!!!

Sonic and Shadow: O_o;...never mind. But what about them? (points to Tails and Cream making out)

shadowsoldier247: Oh, get a room, you two!

Lachie: That's right!!!

Lachie.exe: Hey, 4kids made Tails kill Cosmo.

Tails: Yep. I'm gonna make sure I get a piece before that happens again.

shadowsoldier247: ...that's a good idea. (pulls out tape recorder) Note to self: KILL CREAM IN PART THREE!!!

Cream: o.o; ...WHAT!?!?

Lachie: But for now, I kill you with a saw. (Holds out chainsaw and cuts her into a LOT of pieces.)

(Everyone looks at the pieces)

Lachie: Happy Tree Friends isn't the only show that has little animals killing each other now!

(Tails' jaw drops)

Tails: I've been having THAT kind of childhood?!!?

Lachie: Yep. Shows over. (he then tries to kill everyone so--)

(--everyone runs. Lachie disappears and the episode ends with text saying "Game Over -- Please Deposit $1,000,000 Quarters")

Deaths

 * Cream is mentioned being killed in part 3. (Not official death)
 * Don't even get me started on Knuckles. (Debatable)
 * supacake0404 dies in the credits. (Credits transcript not included)
 * The Contest announcer is eaten by Eggman.
 * Cosmo (debatably) had been killed by Tails.

Injuries

 * Assuming the pain didn't kill Knuckles, he still would have been paralysed.
 * Additionally, if Flaky didn't move away from Lachie as well, she would've been decapitated. (Should this fall under the "Deaths" category?
 * Tails is hit in the arm by Knuckles. (Knuckles pays for it later in the script.)
 * Cream might have fainted when shadowsoldier247 notes to himself to kill her in part 3.
 * Tails is tied to a steak.

Gags and Trivia

 * Cosmo was referenced, but isn't shown in the "Appearances" section.
 * Bjee5455 is mentioned, however is not starred.
 * The original link is available on DeviantArt.